The Stats

I'm currently sitting in a Laundromat wearing only a summer dress because I wanted to do all of my laundry, it is raining and freezing outside. Freezing by silly Australian standards, there was a bro on the train in shorts and a t-shirt. While I am stuck inside, I shall update my statistics.


Days Travelled: 151 

Current Weather: 9 and rainy (what kind of spring is this)  

Countries Visited: 18 

Time Spent in Transit: 154 hours 

Current Location: Zlin, Czech Republic

Courtesy of Buzzfeed 

Worst book I've read: The Guardian - Nicholas Sparks   

Best place to do laundry: Andy's Laundromat Prague 

Festivals Attended: 4

Visa Status: Illegal (still working on the visa and green card)

Days left of this real job: 30

Things I have got really good at in Europe: Cutting a slice of bread from a full loaf.

View The Road Travelled in a larger map

A Collection of short stories

This bus must be pretty old. At least 20 years old in fact. 

•  I saw a child pick up a cassette tape, put it in the CD player and shut the lid. He looked so confused when it wouldn't work. 
• Roller blading is kind of big where I live, I saw some chump trying to roller blade on pebblecrete. 
• There was a fire drill at the school I work at. They had pre-warned me that there going to be one and that I was responsible for getting my children outside to the safe point. Piece of cake. When the class started I did a quick head count so I knew how many kids to get outside. The alarm went off, I told the kids to leave everything where it was and head outside, there was no time to put their “outdoor” shoes on. Outside at the safety point did a head count, everyone there, nailed it! Or so I thought. I looked around at the other kids who were in perfect lines, my class swarming around like a heard of cattle. I saw one of my older kids on the other side of the car park, he waved to me, I waved back. As I was waving back a bee flew directly into my eye, I shrieked and tried to bat it away. I looked up hoping that the student hadn't seen it. He had and was rolling around on the floor laughing.  
  
  

• 

  The best example to give children, I think so. 

  This story was told to me and I think it's too hilarious not to share. A girl I was working with told me how when they were in high school she had to go on a really boring school camp, as soon as lights went out her and her friends sneaked out to go get drunk. She was pretty happy with herself so she was walking along smiling when she walked directly into a low slung clothes line. The clothes line went into her open smiling mouth and cut her in the corners of her mouth. 
  
  
• I thought I saw a man kidnapping a child, he was running towards me with what looked like a child under his arm. I was all ready to make a citizens arrest, but when he got closer I realised he was just running with a pink gym towel and a pair of running shoes in his hand.

• 

  Kangaroo print shirt

  I was out having drinks with some friends of my flat mates and one of their companions tried to tell me we had a different moon in Australia. I wasn't the only one who knew what he was saying was wrong, several people tried to explain it to him, it took about ten minutes before he realised.
  
  
  
  
  
  

 My working visa has been denied because my degree has not been apostilled. What the fuck is apostilled! It's just a way to scam more money out of people. This has set back the visa process back at least another two weeks. As of Monday I will be an illegal alien.

 

There will always be an Irish pub

Enjoying a beer in the afternoon sun

No matter where you will go in the world there will always be an Irish pub, this, however, is not one. It is a British pub that serves American hamburgers and hot dogs, washed down with the finest Czech beers. I am currently enjoying this cross cultural monstrosity because the WIFI is down at home and this place had an unsecured network.  There are many establishments that offer WIFI around here, but none are unsecured, which would mean asking for the password. Always a problem. 

But they are playing The Beatles, so this place has won my heart.

Back to the Krak

My friend from home is coming to visit next month.

After what is almost a year abroad she will be the first friend from home I'll see, there will be tears.

Stayed tuned for the hilarity and misadventures that are sure to follow.