Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The Stats

I'm currently sitting in a Laundromat wearing only a summer dress because I wanted to do all of my laundry, it is raining and freezing outside. Freezing by silly Australian standards, there was a bro on the train in shorts and a t-shirt. While I am stuck inside, I shall update my statistics.

Days Travelled: 151 

Current Weather: 9 and rainy (what kind of spring is this)  

Countries Visited: 18 

Time Spent in Transit: 154 hours 

Current Location: Zlin, Czech Republic

Courtesy of Buzzfeed 

Worst book I've read: The Guardian - Nicholas Sparks   

Best place to do laundry: Andy's Laundromat Prague 

Festivals Attended: 4

Visa Status: Illegal (still working on the visa and green card)

Days left of this real job: 30

Things I have got really good at in Europe: Cutting a slice of bread from a full loaf.

View The Road Travelled in a larger map

Sunday, May 19, 2013

A Collection of short stories

This bus must be pretty old. At least 20 years old in fact. 

  •  I saw a child pick up a cassette tape, put it in the CD player and shut the lid. He looked so confused when it wouldn't work. 
  • Roller blading is kind of big where I live, I saw some chump trying to roller blade on pebblecrete. 
  • There was a fire drill at the school I work at. They had pre-warned me that there going to be one and that I was responsible for getting my children outside to the safe point. Piece of cake. When the class started I did a quick head count so I knew how many kids to get outside. The alarm went off, I told the kids to leave everything where it was and head outside, there was no time to put their “outdoor” shoes on. Outside at the safety point did a head count, everyone there, nailed it! Or so I thought. I looked around at the other kids who were in perfect lines, my class swarming around like a heard of cattle. I saw one of my older kids on the other side of the car park, he waved to me, I waved back. As I was waving back a bee flew directly into my eye, I shrieked and tried to bat it away. I looked up hoping that the student hadn't seen it. He had and was rolling around on the floor laughing.  

  • The best example to give children, I think so. 
    This story was told to me and I think it's too hilarious not to share. A girl I was working with told me how when they were in high school she had to go on a really boring school camp, as soon as lights went out her and her friends sneaked out to go get drunk. She was pretty happy with herself so she was walking along smiling when she walked directly into a low slung clothes line. The clothes line went into her open smiling mouth and cut her in the corners of her mouth. 

  • I thought I saw a man kidnapping a child, he was running towards me with what looked like a child under his arm. I was all ready to make a citizens arrest, but when he got closer I realised he was just running with a pink gym towel and a pair of running shoes in his hand.
  • Kangaroo print shirt
    I was out having drinks with some friends of my flat mates and one of their companions tried to tell me we had a different moon in Australia. I wasn't the only one who knew what he was saying was wrong, several people tried to explain it to him, it took about ten minutes before he realised.

 My working visa has been denied because my degree has not been apostilled. What the fuck is apostilled! It's just a way to scam more money out of people. This has set back the visa process back at least another two weeks. As of Monday I will be an illegal alien.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

There will always be an Irish pub

Enjoying a beer in the afternoon sun

No matter where you will go in the world there will always be an Irish pub, this, however, is not one. It is a British pub that serves American hamburgers and hot dogs, washed down with the finest Czech beers. I am currently enjoying this cross cultural monstrosity because the WIFI is down at home and this place had an unsecured network.  There are many establishments that offer WIFI around here, but none are unsecured, which would mean asking for the password. Always a problem. 

But they are playing The Beatles, so this place has won my heart.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Back to the Krak

My friend from home is coming to visit next month.

After what is almost a year abroad she will be the first friend from home I'll see, there will be tears.

Stayed tuned for the hilarity and misadventures that are sure to follow. 

Thursday, May 16, 2013


I read this article recently.


 I finished it with a coo, I thought what a lovely idea. It filled my heart with the hopes that someday I will find a like-minded soul mate and we will have grandiose adventures around the world, get married and name our children after all the special adventures we shared together.

But then the cynic fought it's way to the surface. In reality probably not going to happen to me and to majority of people and I can't help but find a few faults with this article.

Yes, it is a very well article about some of the wonderful super-mega-bonus features that comes with dating a traveller, but I think it may skim over some of the negative points. I was reading the comment section afterwards and a few other people seem to have the same idea as me.  Here are some points I think worth mentioning if you are going to date a traveller, some good, some bad:
  • They will be ready to leave before you have even found your suitcase. If months on the road teach you anything, it is how to wake up, pack up and ship out in under half an hour, often with a raging hangover. (Good if you ever need to go on the run)
  • Flighty – who is more flippant s than those who spend months on the road, picking up and leaving whenever the feel, changing their course on a whim. Great whilst travelling  does not transfer to well to the real world. 
  • May not be able to stick things out, when the going get tough, the traveller jumps on the next train.
  • Some people you meet will be on the road solely for the adventure and to experience the world, but other people who are running away, from what varies. But it can be hard to get commitment out of someone like this.  
  • Be ready to wait for this person, but don't wait too long. It is a very fine line. I broke up with my last serious boyfriend because I wanted to back pack south east Asia for 3 months, he was happy to wait for me and that was the problem. He should have wanted to come with me, or at least be upset that I was leaving and hadn't invited him. 
  • Selfish. When you have spent month making decisions only for yourself you can have trouble reintegrating back into society.  
In theory it is nice to think you will find someone that shares your enthusiasm for life and will travel to the forgotten corners of the globe with you. But, what do they say? Opposites attract? You can't bring two crazy travellers together and expect them to have wonderful adventures together, it will end in tears. You can travel with the one you love, but someone needs to be the more grounded person in the relationship and from personal experience I know it can't be me.  I'm not saying every traveller is like me, but this is based on myself and others I have met on the road. (I have met some great travelling couples and I am super happy for them, but they're the exception, not the rule)

I think the article will lead to an increase of desperate women trawling airport bars and travel sections of the book store looking for a 'chance' encounter with a world weary stranger, someone who can be their everything and open their eyes to a world beyond their scope, but if your eyes aren't already open, somebody else probably can't do it for you.

I think Seeker, Lover, Keeper had it right in the song “Even though I'm a woman” (awful title, I think it detracts from how good the song is)

Lines worth mentioning

"I'm in love with missing you more than I'm in love with you."
"I love the danger in distance."
"I love you more when I'm missing you, it's why I'm always away"
"I was born to be in a state of longing"

Pretty sure I am going to die alone, my shrivelled black heart will cease to beat.   

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

An Anarchist's Day

Tostadas made with porn flour? 

Is there anything more merry than ducks playing in a puddle? 

I finally escaped Zlin, the town had some sort of grip on me, I've been doing nothing but sitting around my apartment, I wanted to leave, I wanted to put my travelling boots on, throw my backpack on my shoulder and explore the surrounding region, but I just couldn't get out. Some would call it relaxing, I would call it boring and a waste of time. when Monday rolled around I was miserable because I didn't expend any energy on the weekend.

Not this weekend.

I went to Olomouc, a  university town about an hour North-East  from Zlin.

I met up with some crazy cats  who I met when they were guests at the GBL, they teach English in Slovakia and each week move to a new town to share their English knowledge. Olomouc turned out to be a halfway point between their next teaching destinations, so I made the trip for a weekend catch up. 

Highlights of Olomouc
  • The Holy Trinity Column - The tallest column in Europe.   
  • The Astronomical Clock- It was remodelled in the 1950's to represent communist values. The angels and saints being replaced with workers, scientist and sportsman. 
  • Arion Fountain - It depicts a poet being throw over board and being rescued by dolphins. What really makes this fountain though is the tiny details on each piece of the statue.  We sat around the fountain in the afternoon sun and watched children steal money from it for a while. 
  • The old city walls - Walking around the lush gardens that surround the city just screamed spring is here. 
  • My personal highlight -  Mexican food. The restaurant was simply called Mexican restaurant and it dished up a fabulous albeit not nearly spicy enough fajitas.

Astronomical Clock

Arion Fountain

The 30th April was the anniversary of the death of Jaroslav Hasek, a celebration ensued. It was a costumed affair in a cosy little pub, with an array of colourful Czech's playing some kooky instruments, singing and best of all dancing on the tables. Jaroslav Hasek was a pretty cool dude, bron 1883 in Prague, he made his living as an anarchist writer, known for his humour and satire he wrote over 1500 novels in his lifetime, he fought for his country, he chased the woman he loved for three years before marrying her, then after a year, tried to fake his own death to get out of it. 

Morava River


People seem to move in and out of this flat all the time, I don't actually know who lives here, there are people I have never seen before.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Back in Fighting Form

I am back on a computer.

For the low, low price of  $388 or (7777 Kč.)  

It's a cheap computer, but I challenge anyone in Australia to find a notebook - not a netbook, for that price. Hell, you couldn't even buy a smart phone for that price. Surely we make computers at home, why do they need to be so expensive. Silly Australia.

Things I have learn't about myself since I broke my laptop:

  • I thoroughly enjoy formatting things in lists.
  • I don't normally have an addictive personality, except when it comes to procedural crime dramas and trashy Australian soap operas.
I would like to thank the following for their support in the past few weeks, it's been a tough time for everyone:

  • YouTube
  • My phone
  • My Ipod
  • Anyone who I played Wordfeud against
  • The Guardian - Nicholas Sparks. You may just be another sappy love story that I am not particularly interested in, but you have filled the time nicely. 
  • Buzzfeed Mobile App
  • Motion City Soundtrack (Your infectious indie rock and dulcet tones have soothed me to sleep many a nights)
I would like to conclude this post by including a list of items that I have lost over this trip so far:
  • Boots - Full story here. 
  • Not one, but two scarves. One stolen by my bat shit crazy host mother in Georgia, another lost in night of drunken tom-foolery in Budapest. 
  • My ski jacket. - I saw it in the hostel when everybody had checked out for the flood, but then it mysteriously disappeared. I think Greg may have packed it with his stuff. 
  • A wallet - Stolen from a bar in Krakow, it only had 10 zl and a room key in it, so it really wasn't too upsetting. 
  • A bank card - left in the ATM when we stopped to buy ice cream in Tbilisi.
  • My handbag, the former soviet union gas mask bag. - Pretty sure it was stolen by some drunken slurry in the hostel. 
  • Majority of my clothing. - I honestly don't know what happened to it. 
  • Lens cap for my SLR camera. 
  • Two Ipod cords. 
  • The wall charger section for my phone. I now have a new one, but not through honest means. I stayed at this horrible place in Prague and asked if they had one I could borrow. They had a basket of about 20, and a bad attitude, so I just left with it.
  • The cord for my phone charger. - Left in the bar when it flooded. 
  • 30 bobby pins and every hair tie I had. 
  • Four toothbrushes.
  • Two lipsticks, one lip gloss and a compact powder brush. 
The post brought to you by Against me! - We Laugh at Danger (and break all the rules)